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(English is not my mother tongue, so there may be a few mistakes, so please be indulgent!)

At the time when I was twelve years old and my brother Alex was twenty-two, my life was abruptly upheaved by a tragic car accident that claimed the lives of our parents. The shockwave of this loss engulfed me in an abyss of depression, a dark whirlpool that grew within me over time, drowning my existence in a silent gloom. Prior to this catastrophe, my relationship with Alex was marked by constant arguments and moments of mutual ignorance. However, faced with my increasingly concerning condition, Alex took matters into his own hands. He encouraged me to seek help from psychologists and other specialists, fearing that I might succumb to despairing thoughts. Even though our finances were fragile, I hesitated for a long time, but ultimately, I had to yield to necessity. To cover medical expenses and daily costs, Alex dropped out of medical school, sacrificing his own dreams to lend me a hand. Despite concealing his emotions, I could sense the weight of his frustration, perhaps from seeing me inadvertently disrupt his trajectory.

After a few months of darkness, a glimmer of light began to pierce through. My condition slowly improved, allowing me to pick up the threads of my life and prepare for middle school. As I returned to the path of education, I rediscovered a sense of normalcy. New friends entered my life, gradually dispersing the clouds. However, our financial difficulties grew increasingly burdensome. I felt out of sync with my peers, the clothes I wore suddenly seemed childish and ill-fitting for my rapid growth.

One Sunday morning, I found myself seated on the couch, the television playing softly in the background, lost in thought. Alex approached and plopped down beside me, absentmindedly scrolling through TikTok. That’s when I gathered my courage:

“Alex, I know things are a bit complicated right now but… could you maybe buy me some clothes, please? I really need them.”

“Emma, you already have quite a few clothes. You know how challenging it is for me to juggle rent and other expenses.”

A knot of anxiety tightened in my throat, but I pressed on: “I’m sorry but the clothes I have don’t fit me at all anymore.”

I stood up, facing my brother, and awkwardly showed just how constricting my clothes had become, my growing curves making the situation almost unbearable.
You could see the shape of my nipples over the white T-shirt and the width of my bottom under the shorts.

“I… I don’t even have a bra, the boys keep looking at me strangely”.

“Aren’t you flattered?” at which point he looked me up and down a little perversely and said, “Show me then”.

I stared at him shocked and a bit disgusted “ew… What do you mean? I’m not going to get naked, it’s weird isn’t it?”

“Absolutely not. You’re my sister, I’ve already seen you naked when you were younger. And anyway, I need to see if it’s really necessary for me to use my money. Secondly, I’m your legal guardian, so you have to do what I tell you if you don’t want to go to a foster home. I can’t even get the education I want because of you, you owe me that, don’t you?”

“Are you really going to buy me what I want then?” I looked away, a little ashamed.

“I promise. But only if you obey my every word from now on. I’ve sacrificed a lot for you, and I want you to be useful to me from now on. Come closer.”

As I stood there, he put both hands on my hips and moved me towards him. I opened my eyes a little hesitantly and started to shake, stressed.

“Calm down, I’m just going to see if you’ve become a woman, all right?”

I nodded, not wanting to upset him. Seeing that I’m not resisting, he gently removed my T-shirt. Reflexively, I tried to hide my breasts with my hands, but he pulled them away.

“Don’t move. Let me see them”. He pinched my nipples with his fingers and kneaded them. Seeing that I was about to burst into tears, he removed them and then grabbed my buttocks hard. After a long time, he let me go free at last.

“Okay, you’ve been a good girl. Here’s your present.” He handed me a 50, which I take, confused. “I don’t understand why you’re so upset, we didn’t do anything wrong, you know. But keep it to yourself, that’s an order.

Completely lost and not really understanding what had just happened, I didn’t reply and went up to my room. But I didn’t know at the time that this was only the beginning of my nightmare…