A girl wondering why incest seems so normal for me and not so normal for most other people
Hi. I’m Ducky and I just turned 13 last month. I live in a small town near the middle of America. School just let out for summer vacation and as much as I’m looking forward to having the break and spending time with my friends, there is an invisible barrier between me and other girls my age.
Alot of my friends still think boys are gross. Some of them are just getting to the point where they are becoming interested in boys. It seems that none of them have even come close to being sexual or dating or anything else when it comes to boys.
I however, reached that point nearly two years ago when I lost my virginity to my brother who is 2 years older than me. When we were younger we always used to show each other out private parts and touch each other when our parents weren’t home. As we got older, the touching became more than just touching. By the time I was 11 and he was 13, we were both giving each other oral sex several times a week. I really enjoy it too. And I feel so safe and comfortable because he’s my brother and I love him.
That same year, we decided to lose our virginity to each other. Mom and dad go out at least 2 evenings a week to their golf parties and one of these evenings, it finally happened. We were both scared but we knew it was going to happen. We didn’t know how to get any condoms and believe me, we both tried. We asked our friends but had no luck. We really wanted to wait until we could be safe losing our virginity but eventually we just couldn’t wait anymore. So we did it without a condom and even though it was scary, we still have never used a condom to this very day. For the first year or so, I always insisted that he not come in me but then one day he just didn’t take it out and it felt so warm and amazing that I began insisting that he did come inside me. I’m now 13 and he’s 15 and we have been having sex for 2 years. We do love each other as brother and sister, but we are also in love with eachother.
We have ways been afraid that our parents would find out about this. We haven’t told anyone. Not a single person. I’ve been so scared to get pregnant and then find out who the father of the baby is. But at the same time, I really really want to have his babies.
This is really difficult for me to share. Even on a website like this. Especially the next part of my story.
About 5 months ago, I started having sex with my father. Somehow he found out about me and my brother and he came to talk to me about it. He wasn’t angry or upset. He was caring and understanding and just asked me to explain how it came to be this way between my brother and I. So I told him the story. He listened without interrupting and he didn’t ask very many questions when I was finished. He told me that mom didn’t know about this and that he wasn’t going to tell her either.
My dad has always been the coolest and easy going one. He’s always been very understanding and patient with me and my brother and my mom. Mom has a tendency to get mad about alot of things and so I usually have always gone to my dad when I have problems.
I was so amazed that he would be so understanding about this. I love my dad so so much.
About a week later after I had that talk with him, I had a dream one night about being with my dad the way I am with my brother. I couldn’t get it out of my head and I started to look at my dad in a different way then before.
It took me a month and a half to work up the courage to talk to him again about this subject. Mom had gone out of town with my brother on a school band trip and it was just me and Dad for several days. I explained to Dad how safe and comfortable I felt being with my brother like that and how I didn’t think I could trust any other boy the way I trust him. And I told my dad that I also feel safe and comfortable with him being my dad and how happy I was that he’s my dad instead of someone else.
Then he asked me if I was trying to to tell him that I wanted to be with him the way I am with my brother. And I said yes. I was certain that he would tell me that it just couldn’t be that way between me and him. But I was wrong… He didn’t say a word. He just picked me up and carried me to my bedroom and put me on my bed. He closed my door and sat down on the bed and undressed me.
I was already used to him seeing me without clothes on as far back as I can remember. But this was different and I was very nervous. Once I was naked, I his under the covers. He undressed and got under the covers with me.
It didn’t occur to me that he would be bigger down there than my brother. But it wasn’t too bad.
He asked me if I wanted him to use a condom and I feel like my mind went silly and blank. I simply just said no.
He laid on top of me and we kissed like boyfriend and girlfriend and then we had sex. It was incredible. It was so amazing that I forgot how nervous I was and I asked him to come inside me. He wanted to know if I was sure… And I said yes and so he came inside me.
And now I’m in love with my dad and my brother.
I told my brother what happened and he was very jealous and hurt at first. But he understands the love because he feels the same way about me.
About 6 weeks ago I began to have sex with my dad and my brother at the same time. They take turns on me and it’s so amazing. I know this is wrong of me, but I love it when they both come inside me back to back. And I know this is very very wrong of me, but I want to have both of thier babies. More than anything. I’m in love with both of them.
I wish that I could talk to someone my own age about this. Someone who understands what I’m going through. Someone who can help me understand why this seems to normal and natural to me even though I know that it’s not supposed to be normal.
My mom still doesn’t know about this and I think it’s only a matter of time until I get pregnant and she finds out. But a part of me doesn’t care if she finds out. She could leave my dad and move out and that would leave the three of us here to be together as a family.
I love my mom, but I just know what I want more than anything else in my life is to have many babies with both my brother and my father. I really want 3 babies from both of them. Oh gosh, just thinking about being pregnant with their babies makes me feel so alive and hot. Oh gosh.
So that’s my story and I hope that I can get the answers I’m looking for.
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