I don’t really want to do it, but felt like I had no choice but to give in and do it,
I was out on a works night out and while I was out I had sex with a guy that I worked with, I don’t like this guy so I don’t know why I did it in the first place,
We had booked a place it was a hotel, we thought we had booked a function suite, but it turns out more like a function room it was small,
Compared to the one we thought we booked, we were in the function room it had tables, a table at the wall with bottles of wine and beers on it,
The was a patio just outside which was there if you wanted to sit outside,
I’m outside talking on the phone my friend called me, so we were talking about something,
Anyway after I’m finished I hung up and I’m sitting there on the chair,
Just about to get up when he comes over to me I really don’t like this guy, he’s my supervisor from work,
He’s sitting down next to me talking to me then he said something I was shocked about,
This happened years ago, I did something I wasn’t proud of, I had an abortion well twice,
I was really stupid back then if being honest
I was sleeping with anyone back then,
And I got pregnant twice, it was with different guys,
I got pregnant when I was 17, then 19,
I wasn’t proud of myself, I can’t understand how he found out about it, He seemed to know everything about me, having a std when I was 16, 18, getting treated for it,
I’m just sitting there looking at him as he’s telling me all about myself,
I was nearly in tears listening to him
Then he brought up the criminal stuff shoplifting, fighting, saying that if they found out about it you probably get fired,
I knew he wasn’t joking if the work found out about it I would be fired,
He’s asking me for one thing, I’ve to decide about my future with the company he’s looking at me saying if I had sex with him he wouldn’t tell anyone about it,
And he was wanting me to perform a sex act on him tonight,
I’m not looking at him I’m just sitting there looking away from him, As he’s telling me what he wants me to do,
I was trying not to cry, I loved my job but I know what he said was true I lied about everything,
I’m looking at him saying what were you wanting me to do, he’s saying he wants me to give him oral sex, I’m standing up and saying ok as I’m walking around the corner and going further up this path along the hotel it’s really dark, he’s standing in front of the wall on the path behind bushes which was all along the path
I’m kneeling down in front of him I’ve pulled his zip down on his trousers I’ve put my hand inside and I’ve pulled his cock out and I’m wanking him off I’ve got my mouth around on his cock I’m just sucking on it as I’m wanking him off into my mouth
I’m going as fast as I can,
It didn’t take long he’s coming inside my mouth I’m still sucking and wanking him until he’s finished coming he’s finished I’m standing up spitting his cum out of my mouth and walking away back I’m going back into the function room and sitting down having a drink, I’m really annoyed with myself in what I’ve just done to him,
He’s back in acting like normal
I’m just sitting there feeling depressed disgusted with myself,
Having more and more to drink,
I probably shouldn’t have been drinking more, but I was,
I was back outside having a cigarette just looking up at the star’s in the sky as it was really clear tonight you can actually see more than usual,
When he came back out sitting across from me saying that he enjoyed what I did to him,
I’m just looking at him as he’s saying that he was wanting to fuck me, then it’s the end of the matter, I’m looking at him saying will it really be the end of the matter,
I’m looking at him saying if he does fuck me that’s it, I mean it I’m not doing anything else if I was to let you fuck me, I can promise you that, if anything,
He’s saying yes it would be over, I was looking at him saying how don’t I trust you then, I feel like im getting blackmailed into this situation with you,
He’s saying definitely not, it’s my choice if I’m going to fuck him or not,
I’m saying what about the blowjob I just done to you, oh yeah I know but I’m only wanting this one thing then it’s over I’m never going to mention it again,
I’m just sitting there I don’t want to do it as I’m getting up and walking away from him,As he’s telling me what about your job,
I don’t care, I went back into the function room sitting back down and having a drink,
I’m needing the toilet so I’m going out off the function room and instead of just using the toilet there I’m away upstairs to use the other toilets the lights coming on as I’m going up the stairs along the corridor and into the toilet I’m in a cubicle having a pee,
I was just thinking about what happened and what was said,
I finish peeing I’m just sitting there I wiped myself pulling up my knickers and leggings going out of the cubicle and washing my hands,
When the door opens and it’s him he’s followed me upstairs into this toilet
He’s asking me what I was going to do about what we were talking about,
I’m looking at him just saying I don’t trust you if I fuck you, you’ll want more when does it end, He’s saying that’s it nothing more after it,
I’m saying ok then he’s came over to me and he has pulled my leggings and knickers down to my ankles he’s turned me around and he was bending me over as he’s pushing himself up inside me he’s looking at the mirror as he’s fucking me,
I’m trying not to make a sound or any facial expressions as he’s fucking me so hard and fast,
To be honest it was really degrading I felt sick and disgusted with myself he’s just holding me tight as he’s pushing himself deeper and deeper up inside me,
He’s stopped he’s telling me that he’s coming as he’s holding me tight, he’s eventually pulled himself out of me, I can feel it running down on my legs I’ve wiped myself pulled my knickers and leggings up and left the toilet,
He’s already away, I went back downstairs got my bag and left without saying anything to anyone,
I’m back home crying in my room about what I had done,
Feeling really sick about it,
On Monday I never went into work I phoned in sick, also the rest of the week and the next week, I went back and the first person i seen was him,
He’s looking at me asking me if I was ok, yeah I suppose, he’s not said anything about what happened, it’s four months later and he’s still not said anything about that night he blackmailed me into having sex with him,
I’m just waiting for it,
